Toddlers and Tiaras

I don’t hide the fact that I watch Toddlers and Tiaras, I actually promote the show more than anything. When I see a crazy mother trying to live vicariously through their four-year-old child I can’t help but watch. It’s like a train wreck – you want to look away but you can’t.

The only problem I have with the show is the title. It should be called one of these three options:

  1. “The Beginning – Sixteen and Pregnant”
  2. “The Beginning – Dr. Drew’s Rehab”
  3. “The Beginning – Hoarders” (for those children that develop severe OCD).

I know I probably sound harsh, but there is no way any of these children will turn out the be normal. When your dress a young child in tight dresses and slutty bathing suits, spray tan them, put acrylic nails on their fingers, fake eyelashes on their eyes, a weave on their head, apply pounds of makeup and give them a drink containing Redbull, mountain dew and pixie sticks you can’t expect your child to turn out anywhere near normal. You can’t expect them to lead normal lives.

My absolute favorite is when a mother mentions that she too was in pageants; as if to say their child will turn out normal. When a mother says this, a list of questions pop into my head:

  1. How often do you go to therapy?
  2. At what age was your first pregnancy?
  3. How many times have you contemplated jumping off a bridge?
  4. How many husbands have you had?
  5. What is your relationship with YOUR mother?
  6. How long have you had a prescription for an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication?

I also love to see these kids throw a hissy-fit and their parent’s let them freak out over the smallest things and not discipline them. They obviously don’t realize that they are raising MONSTERS. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying beat your child on national TV, but at least put them in time-out. We know how time-out works, Super Nanny taught us it’s based on their age and actions.

this is Olivia. she is the BRATTIEST child to ever cross the Toddlers and Tiaras screen. her mother, the enabler, should be ashamed of her parenting skills.

One more thing that I absolutely love about this show are the trashy spin offs that come from it. “Eden’s World” was a flop, but you can watch it on Netflix. “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is every trailer parker’s dream because it shows that even the trashiest people can get a reality TV show as long as their four-year-old talks like an obese black woman from the south. “Cheer Perfection” shows the parental drama and politics in the cheer world while covering the CRAZIEST bug-eyed mother the show has ever seen.

The point is, Toddlers and Tiaras is an amazing show but I would NEVER put my future daughter/gay son on that show. It is child abuse and marks your child as a freak for the rest of their lives.

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